OPINION: NIGERIA; A MARRIAGE MADE IN HELL....By Orosun

"Although, there are some “arrangee” marriages, we all know what would be the end result in about 90% of such cases".... Orosun. 

For a marriage union to have a chance of survival, the parties involved, must go through a process including meeting, developing a feeling for each other, getting to know each other very well, deciding if they are compatible enough to proceed to the next step of entering into the “contract” of coming together as one and signing the necessary legal documents or “agreement” (Constitution), with the consent or attestation of the families and friends as well as well - wishers as witnesses.

Although, there are some “arrangee” marriages, we all know what would be the end result in about 90% of such cases. 

Marriages that are meant to live through the course of time should follow laid down protocols as highlighted above. 

Only then would they last notwithstanding the expected ups and downs of life and time. 

These marriages go the long haul because they would have studied each other and be  ready to accommodate each other’s weaknesses as well as be prepared to boost the strengths of each other. As two consenting adults, they would have weighed all options before settling down to the final choice and step of building a life or home together. 

Moreover, the main ingredients apart from “love” needed for this to happen successfully and remain tolerable are; mutual respect, trust, fairness, equity, justice and selflessness. Most times, love alone would never be enough!  

With all the aforementioned, how on earth do we think or expect Nigeria’s “arrangee” contraption called marriage to succeed or continue without breaking up at some point? 

I call Nigeria a “forced marriage” that is  devoid of necessary love and the other ingredients needed for it’s survival or sustenance. 

No wonder, so far, it has been an abusive and wicked relationship where “monkey de work and baboon dey chop”! 

This manifests the exact opposite of what a properly constituted union should be.

An internationally renowned artist, Teddy Pendergast, once sang that he does not want a 40/60 love but a 50/50 love. Thank God, he is not from these shores or else, he would have been lucky to enjoy even 10/90 love!

Such a marriage like Nigeria’s must be dissolved without any hesitation if it is not to end in a monumental disaster with dire consequences. 

For how long must this sham of a marriage be allowed to continue? 

This situation is worse than a “Slave - Master” relationship and before our children get too pushed to the wall and decide to take back their lives and dignity as well as all they have been robed off by force, we must do the needful.

This glaring cheating and imbalance is also ungodly and must be addressed while there is still the chance to do so.